In the beginning, there was nothing. Out of the nothing came something. That something might be special. Creation is special. When I speak about creation I do not mean to speak about “creation” as it is attributed to an eternal being. But rather, Creation as it relates to creativity, creation of something valuable, creation that adds value to the world, to the ever-dynamic culture, creation that helps to understand the world even more or see the world and the experiences of our world in a new light.

Sometimes in moments of solitude, I think about how selfish and selfless creators are at the same time. Selfish that they hold onto their work and give in all they can, sometimes even losing the most valuable assets of their life, material and otherwise. Selfless because they look for something that might not amount to much in their lifetime or maybe never ever. But still they yearn to create. Creators here, refer to artists who are guided by the pursuit of something that stands testimony to their existence on earth, even after they have vanished and nothing about them remains. The vanity of the pursuit might be pointed to by others time and again, but their urge is stronger than their perception of reality. The truth still exists that they might lose, and many have lost. For the hundreds and thousands of victorious names that we see and hear everyday, there are millions who are unheard and unseen. Again, are these people failures? For a world that always teaches its kids that money is not the ultimate asset and success belongs to the ones who try harder and harder, aren’t we, but a bunch of hypprocrites lying to our future generations? Don’t we value money and success and fame more than anything else? Arent our scales for success flawed beyond our understanding?

Then again, we have to think about why artists and creators begin in the first place. Are they guided by deeper instincts and urges that not societal pressures can stop, or are they led on by the pursuit to stay in the limelight? For a world that heralds the victorious tales of the winners, we seem to be hidden away from the struggles of the winners, the journey to the top is something we prefer not to know of. The “under dog” is not loved nor are such stories propagated with the same vigour as the wonderous tales of the victorious. A great disservice to both the winner as well as the struggling people, the victory is thus kept as an achievement reserved for a select few, the lucky ones or the ones whom destiny marked.

The millions of struggling people, the creators of not just art, but the creators of hope and opportunity, the poor parent who tries to bring his kid a better table and light to study on, the struggling sibling who struggles day and night to bring his younger one to a better college, the young man out to create an enterprise and create job opportunities, every man or woman who struggles to help the next generation have a better opportunity, they all need better stories to listen to, they all deserve to be inspired. For, it is these people who keep the machinery of society in motion, the everyday characters who are the protagonists of their own stories, their happiness, their sadness, their emotions, their failures and their ultimate victory. As a writer I wait for them, to catch a glimpse of a creator, a person worth writing about and in this world around me, there are but millions of them.


Failure Vs Mediocrity

Whats the worst that can happen?

What is the worst that can happen right now. Failure,maybe a thousand little failures wound into one huge failure. But would that mean the end?

Never been so, Never been so in the life of thousands of men and women who have courted success. On the other hand, for those seeking and celebrating mediocrity, failure might just be the dose to celebrate mediocrity even more.

The worst is where my thought goes to. The worst that could happen would be extreme frustration, a fall into the darkness and with never a chance to come out.

But don’t we, mere mortals, members of a primitive tribe hold great advantage against failure. Think of the thousand chances we have to fail, and just one success would hide it all away into obscurity.So isn’t failure the one lacking power, the one facing the odds, the one succeptible of losing and never winning again.After all, all we need is one success.

So, what is our purpose? That is the quintessential question. Why do we choose not to be mediocre, but to pursue a unique path, that caters to strengthen all our fears by helping us lose one after another. We choose, because we have within us, the need to go beyond the ordinary, to pursue a higher goal that helps us rise above our mortality and leave behind something that marks our existence in this planet.

The futility of trying


I fear to express my ideas. Trust me, I do. Why would that be an issue? As a social being, is not expression part of my being?

Every idea I have ever expressed has either been repressed, degraded or disemboweled, tortured or left to live and die in limbo.

The fear of failure has long ago died. It is not in a state of denial that I live in. Rather, I have internalised it that I would never succeed. The dark and cold nature of reality is that success never seems to be anywhere,even beyond the horizon. I do not think that it is darkest just before dawn. It is just dark and could get darker, murkier and colder. Desolateness and desperation are no longer frightening, but just mates to accompany in the passage of time.  All my efforts would eventually land in a dump built by myself and funded by my world, my society and everyone around me who believes that being different is in itself a failure, that trying to achieve your goals is criminal and enlightment is the sole property of spiritual

But, then why I am I writing? Free-writing, they call it.

Bleak and desolate my world is, I still believe in hope. The two voices at war, one that believes in failure and the other that believes in hoping against hope(what a cliché!)

Without success or even the slightest chance to succeed anywhere, I still do not understand why I keep trying. Why am I stimulated and intellectually aroused by the prospect of creating something fresh, why I think that maybe I too can achieve something.

I think the very nature of my frustration is the standards set forth by my society, the many targets they attach to your age. They decide the many achievements to be had by a particular age.

The thoughts keep coming time and again. The futility of existence and trying for someone who has not yet entered the realm of real success is not frightening.

It is just that I think something like this is true

“However bad your life is right now, It could always get worse”.

A little dark maybe, but true it seems right now.

My Personal War

There is a war inside me, a battle between freedom to choose and the desire to succeed. I chose my freedom to do and live and write the way I want, the way my heart craves, the way I believe is the right way for me. Just like any other artist, my choice is selfish. I do not love everything that the people around me endorse or love. Born in the southernmost part of the country, my state which is called Kerala, literally meaning Land of coconuts is full of people who would say it is Gods own country. But for me, a person who is dearly in doubt with the very notion of an intelligent being of power influencing the birth, growth, life, death and every important chapter In a being’s life, I wish to think that my place is beautiful despite the multitude of problems and deficiencies affecting my fellow Keralites.


So why deny God? I am asked this question all the time. The point is the longer I think about it, the further I move away from the absurdity of believing in an all-knowing and all-powerful being, who

Taking Cinema to the world

Whenever such a discussion comes up, I usually point to people what Anurag Kashyap has said:” To go Global, Go Local .“

The line captures everything that we need to know about creating a global audience for cinema. The more closer our cinema is to our cultural fabric and the better we succeed in capturing the nuances that make our land different from others, the greater would be our success in reaching out. People at my place, Kerala, usually tell me that such a dream is an atrocity in itself and they always point to me that failure would be the end result. I usually tell them about people like Kurasowa who continued making films close to his heart and succeeded in having a following of his own. It is necessary to keep making films that portray the reality, without focussing on the reality alone. I am not a fan of making films way too real in that I believe a film should have an interesting narrative and not just bore the audience. If it was life that we intended to capture as it is, then simply recording a day from beginning to end as it is would constitute cinema. Ofcourse, Life is the best reference for many facets of cinema. But Utilising editing and narrative to create the vastness of life within the hundred odd minutes is a skill I believe in. Such a skilled individual can contribute something that would stand the test of time.

I am, ofcourse, not cutting off documentary features as a lesser art form. They too rely on narrative to make the feature interesting.I just think that the word ‘real’ and ‘natural’ have attained more value attached to them than ‘narrative’ and ‘aesthetics.’


Why Aleppo Can’t stop crying?


In a war involving multiple foreign and a multitude of regional forces, there tends to arise the issue of forgetting and missing key trails that lead and kindled the actual war. Syria has been burning, death is imminent and everywhere, freedom has been taken over by chaos, women and children most affected, men waging a war which seems to have no end. A look back on how this war started is essential to understand how and why it would end, if it would ever end.

Basheer, as the leader of Syria, accused as being a dictator and a man who has caused humanitarian violations helmed the country and A certain power by the name of Free Syrian Army(FSA) decides to tumble him. A very genuine and wanted need of the people, as projected by the group, gradually gained support from the U.S, with the Arab Spring in the foreground. The free Syrian Army was seen by Obama, John Kerry and his diplomatic wonder heads as an adversary to topple the dictatorial regiment of Basheer and ofcourse, a strong kick to the Russian support of Basheer. Setting up a proxy government and thereby spreading the gospel of democracy to the very interiors of Syria and Iraq, killing of a brutal regiment of autocracy and thereby the birth of a new nation. This is exactly what Obama wanted and this is exactly what he succeeded in getting, albeit a state, that is rogue, filled with multiple forces whose agendas and ideologies tend to shift, turn and acquire amoebic proportions. The birth of ISIS was aided by actions of the Obama administration that proposed and supported the Free Syrian Army.

The supply of weapons and tactical support to the FSA,done through CIA and other shady ways, started reaching the ISIS which was at that point nothing more than factions of violent islamic groups which were lead by former generals of Saddam’s army. As stated earlier, factions tend to break, mingle, join. FSA suddenly ceased to exist. There was now only ISIS. The realisation might not have stuck Obama at first. But the noble peace prize winner and the only American president in the history of the world to have been engaged in war for the entire tenure was now at a point where he had to find another force to support, another team of killers who can fight both the brutal regiment of Basheer and the bloodthirsty Islamic State. Waiting for an opportunity were the Kurds and so leapt in Obama.

With no time to waste, Obama and John Kerry make yet another fatal mistake. They supply Kurds with weapons and training, creating the ground for yet another faction of fighters. The Kurds fight ISIS, The Kurds fight Basheer. The Kurds now want a Kurdistan. They have already started making claims for their own country. With weapons in hand, they can surely make a strong claim for the same. The ISIS may have weakened. They might not make it back soon in Syria. But, Basheer would now have to face the trouble with Kurds before he can settle down and rule his country.

The truth of the fact is that there seems to be no way that these factions and groups would die down. The scenario is very much similar in Libya and Iraq. The Arab spring might have been a dream for the world. Death of dictators and the birth of democracy was the dream that many people had in mind. But when the head of a state dies, there ensues chaos, especially one which has for years been under the same power. Creating a proxy government and conducting elections might seem like the logical thing to do. But looking at history and experiences, it is of utmost importance for the welfare of the world that america abstain from such actions in future. It is here that the thought of Trump seems most welcome. It is better to stay out of Aleppo and let Basheer deal with his country. Everything else has failed so far.

Why should there be a god?

People want to believe. It’s always been that way. The need to subscribe to a religion beyond their choice has been the basis for everyone I know, the basis for belief. Religion and thereby god provides people with the opportunity to have something to rely and depend on when things go wrong. It also provides millions of people with the moral dependency that everything happens for a reason.

The religious find it great that with God, it becomes easier to establish and propogate rules. A certain level of homogeneity can be attained with ease. Marriage and family , two great stones of religion can be maintained with ease. A certain number of believers exist no matter what. 

  • For the non-believers the truth remains that God is nothing more than a delusion

The faith 

Faith is a very strange word. My friends have asked me as to where my faith lies. For the believer , faith means the faith in God. It is totally necessary that the believer put himself in the hands of his belief and blindly follow the power in the sky. As for me, faith is not the point to salvation. But, faith that the trust in science would help me.

Why heroes suck 

Going through the current stock of cinema that my friends have been suggesting me, The Avengers, The Civil war, blah blah, All the superhero movies, I was hugely disappointed by just one fact. None of these heroes seemed like they were ever defeated or could ever face something close enough to a defeat. None of them seemed to have ever experienced fear or a lack of confidence. None of them can ever be in a point of no return, from where they must face inner demons to ultimately become someone better or worse. There is no change in the character as a result of the story. 

This culture of hero worship, when it permeates into the public sphere can be dangerous. You are blindly standing for someone because you believe that the person would do good for you. This tendancy to worship means that a person cannot be questioned, or rather should not be questioned. Following an ideal blindly, dogmatically is a dangerous trend and when you put a face to that dogmatic approach you get an even more dangerous situation. 

Anyone and anything should be questionable in an ideal democracy. The right to protest against trump freely even after his appointment as the president of America, points to the freedom that exists in the country to this point. The right to express emotions must not be swayed by a blind support for ideals or people. The dependence on an ideal male image should stop for the betterment of the world.

When Kedar Jadhav came pretty close

Watching this series has been a delight to say the least. High scoring matches, 350 plus scores, unexpected heroes, the re-birth of yuvi- Dhoni adventures. But no player has succeeded in delighting and catching attention like Kedar Jadhav. In his early 30s, Jadhav has done well to be considered a finisher . Today was no different. Scoring a six and a four of the first two balls of the 50th over, it seemed like he has finally cemented his place ahead of Rohit and Rahane. What happened in the end was surely traumatizing for the Indian team would have had a double white wash in the event of a victory. Nevertheless, with the T20 coming soon, we might get to see more of Jadhav .